I'm Retired...Now What?

 One month ago I retired from 43 years of teaching. That 43 years encompassed  2 states, 4 cities, 9 schools, 15 principals and all school grades. The first 22 years were as a teacher of students with Specific Learning Disabilities/Behavior Disorders and the last 21 were as an elementary Media Specialist. The variety of settings, students and co-workers made for a wonderful life! When my friends would ask what I was going to do when I retired, I'd say sleep, rest, garden, etc. I know they wanted to hear something exciting and worthy of their envy, but hey...43 years...can I do nothing for awhile? And sadly, with the present Covid State of Affairs, that is among the top choices...nothing!

I did venture out of my cocoon to spend 10 days in Ohio to see my 93 year old mom, who had some health issues, but other than that have stayed close to home with my husband. I've kind of been in a holding pattern: holding the remote, my coffee mug, the rake, kitchen spatula, etc. You get the picture. And I love being home and being a homemaker. But after 43 years of the daily stimulation of students, teachers, administrators, books, computers, troubleshooting, etc. I have to admit that I have a hard time with occasionally doing nothing! Please, don't throw anything at me! It's getting better, but it's not for lack of things I could do. It might just be an aimlessness of not knowing where to start. 

So when I started my quiet time this morning, I opened to Jeremiah 33:3 "Call to Me and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know." I laughed. Where else would I get the peace/direction/answers I was seeking, but the Word? Who else to give me the assurance that doing nothing is okay but the Lord? I think He calls it Rest! I can list several things I'd love to pursue and enjoy, but what's His best for me now? Where will I be productive and of service? I think that's the thing I miss as a teacher: feeling useful and of service to others. If  you ask my husband, he'd have an answer: how about him and the home! Can I start to make cookies for him...not a school function? (He gets plenty, I assure you!) I'm sure my teacher friends can relate. But back to the Lord, I need to learn to wait and patiently hear what He has for me in this time and for the future. This is one of those Queen Esther/such a time as this things.  Is it time to my writing? Practice the piano? Get back to gardening? Exercising? Cleaning (ouch)? Purging closets and school stuff ala Maria Kondo (double ouch)? Well, probably yes to all of the above. Volunteering anyplace, which I'm hoping to do, will have to wait until Covid restrictions are over. But obviously there's plenty to keep my busy...or not.

So in returning to writing, which I do feel led to do, do I change the name of my blog to The Grounded Retired Librarian? The Retired Grounded Librarian? Because as we know, once a librarian, always a librarian! Alphabetizing my spice shelves will continue, no matter what! I still refer to emptying the dishwasher as "shelving the plates". Leaving any kind of job can be like having a rubber band snap back into place. I felt large, useful,  and stretched to the limit most of the time at work, and now that I'm home I've shrunk back to "normal", waiting to be used again. But I think it's okay if I stay in the shrunken state for the time being, especially now at the holidays. There's plenty of stretching in the days ahead...we all need to enjoy the times of rest and peace given to us. Remember that in times of waiting there is great reward.

Well, I've hit my 4 paragraph limit, so I'll be signing off for now, friends. I think I'll take a nap! Remember to Stay Restfully and Peacefully Grounded!

Someday is Here!

 Five years ago I wrote a post entitled "I'm Retiring...Someday". It related my feelings surrounding entering our deferred retirement program (DROP) and the range of emotions surrounding that event. What it all boiled down to was that the retirement attitude I had of not letting work issues get me down, making more time for family, taking better care of myself, etc. didn't have to wait for five years when I retired. I could carry that relaxed attitude into every situation, retired or not.

Well, fast forward 5 years and retirement is so close I can smell it. It smells like Pumpkin Spice. Who knew! In 5 weeks I'll be leaving a career of 43 years in Education. It's been like "A Tale of Two Cities"...you know, "best of times and worst of times"! But the Two Cities for me have been like 2 different careers: one of  23 years teaching students in grades 1-12 who had Specific Learning Disabilities and Emotional Disorders and one of being a school Media Specialist for grades pre-k-5 for 20 years. And both have been exciting, challenging, rewarding and totally fulfilling.

So I'm cleaning and sorting the 18 years of stuff that I've accumulated at my current school. I'm living proof of the scientific fact that stuff expands to the space it is allowed to have. I'm blessed with lots of storage and shelves, which means stuff galore. So the great giveaway has begun: swag from numerous conferences, old  Book Fair goodies, superhero themed items (remember that craze?), ditto for pirate, circus, and other themes that won't be revisited by my successor. My teachers and students are loving it! One of our teachers asked what I was going to do with the Lone Ranger lunchbox that has held a spot on one of the bookshelves (not vintage or valuable). I said I think I'm giving it to him! He loved it. And I'll be doing major book giveaways for the students each week. When we had to leave early in the Spring due to Covid, I was left with boxes of new and gently used donated books and bags that were supposed to go home with the students for summer. So out they go now! It's always the right time for getting books into kids' hands.

But what's not so easy to give away are my emotions related to the "stuff" I never got around to. Folders of book  ideas. Tubs of incentives for programs I never could get to. Book sets for book clubs that never happened. You get the idea. As Media Specialists, not only do we wear the "Too Many Books, Not Enough Time" t-shirts, but also the "Too Many Great Ideas, Not Enough Time". And with 5 weeks to go, they obviously won't get done. My successor has her own new, fresh ideas,  yet wants my guidance for continuing what's worked for our students. Yet in these Covid-influenced times, certain programs (Pumpkin Patch, Gingerbread House Village) just won't be happening. 

So do I wallow through these remaining weeks dwelling on what never was or will be? NO WAY! It's time to reflect on what DID happen, not what DIDN'T. Remember the successes with students, not the things I didn't get to do with them. Enjoy memories with teachers who loved the Media Center as much as I did and consistently supported our programs, and not think about the high-maintenance personnel who almost sucked the joy out of each day. And this doesn't have to be a retirement-related thing, friends! Every day we can make the decision to focus on what we ARE doing and not what we AREN'T. Look at the people whose lives we are touching/changing/blessing and not consider what things on our ever-growing To-Do lists didn't get marked off in a day. 

In our profession, and especially in our district, they are so many rock star Media Specialists that it's hard to not compare where we are in the school year to their accomplishments. They regularly post their classes taught, books circulated, tech accomplishments, etc. while many of us are knee-deep in equipment and updating and counting laptops from the spring and summer E-Learning, just trying to catch up. Forget any student interaction yet! But guess what, friends, you are fine! You'll be fine! As Kenny Chesney sings, "Everything's gonna be all right". Take a breath, do what you can, serve the needs of your particular school/population and make sure it's what your Administration wants. Have a conversation with them about the challenges you are facing. What are their expectations? Chances are, they aren't nearly as concerned as you are about all of the other stuff. We put such high demands  on ourselves, and those expectations often aren't what our administrators want or expect. If they're ok with you getting that hard stuff done and not seeing students yet, then you have to be okay with it. If they aren't expecting Twitter-iffic posts, then why are you? If you're getting your program and the school in compliance with tech and equipment reporting, then you're on track. It's just the way it is for now! The fun stuff will come...doesn't it always? Yes! Hang in there!

So is this my final post as an active Media Specialist? NO WAY! I've been a bit lax in my writing, but intend to return as fierce as ever. It's not due to lack of things to say...I always have something I want to put on paper and share. But just catching up here on my blog has restored my writing mojo! Hey, that's another thing I don't need to be retired for! I'm starting my "Farewell Tour" here...but will continue to be the Grounded Librarian. So as I like to encourage you, be expectant and hopeful and Stay Grounded, Friends!