I got new glasses a month ago and to me they were dramatically different from my previous pair.
I love the month of October: hints of Fall, pumpkins, pumpkin spice everything, my birthday, family celebrations...I could go on and on.
A funny thing happened to me this week when I called to order a pizza. I remembered I was a breast cancer survivor.
Does any of this make sense? Is there a theme I'm going for? Is Penvose going to finish anything she starts? If you're thinking any of this, good for you! If you've gotten this far, you know that there is a method to my madness. Those 3 lines at the top are 3 of my latest blog posts that remain in the draft state on my blog. They're similar to ideas I've had in teaching. The number of projects that I've started or wanted to start in my 40+ years of education would fill my outdated set of encyclopedias. (note to self, add "weeding" to the To Do List) It's probably the nature of teaching and librarianship, to collect the next great idea, maybe even start it, but then drop it in the interest of time/interruptions/the next great idea/ or just plain forgetfulness!
I woke up this morning, not able to take advantage of that "extra hour" with the clock change, and finished the latest Andrew Clements book, The Loser's Club. Highly recommend it! But at the back he features a list of good reads that the students in the book read. And I start to think, wow, I'd like to start a club like that. Or do a 40 Book Challenge. Or keep on reading the Andrew Clements' books that I haven't read. Or..... You get the picture! So then to quiet my thoughts I start looking at a few of my favorite library blogs, starting with Gwyneth Jones' "The Daring Librarian". Love her! Well, I'd missed a few of her posts, so almost an hour later, after saving most of her ideas and sending them to my school account, I heard my husband stirring in the living room where he was reading, also not getting the extra hour sleep! But once again, ideas/projects/cool stuff started swirling in my head and I got up just to quiet those thoughts. Get up and make pancakes, Sandy, and quit thinking!
And adding to this potential mental meltdown, I started to think how much longer I have in my current position before I retire. Approx 1 3/4 school years. Is that enough time to do all that I want to do? Will I ever be able to reach all the students I need to? Can I make a difference in the reading culture in that amount of time? Will I ever read all of the books in our Media Center? (what the students think I do!)
Exhausting, isn't it? I'll have another pancake, thank you!
But before I fixed our breakfast, I sat down for my morning quiet time, looking to rest my mind and spirit. And the words of the famous "Serenity Prayer" came to me loud and clear. If you don't know it, it goes like this "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference." Written by American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, it has been adapted by many groups, but the message to me was unmistakable. There are lots of things I can't change at my school, so any projects I want to undertake have to start with that. While I'm the Queen of my little Media Domain, I have to consider our population, administration, and current initiatives to move ahead in student achievement. So some of the things I'd like to try might just be "fluff" that doesn't add to that conversation. Maybe they work in another school, but I have to realistically evaluate whether they'd work in my current situation.
However, there are many things I CAN change. Just this year I rearranged furniture, created warm inviting reading areas, started self check-in, jazzed up the signage, and some other things. I know that I have the freedom to try anything new, as long as it's student-centered and builds that love of reading. But our students also don't have oodles of time to come to the Media Center to do the popular maker stuff, or participate in reading clubs, etc. Also, I don't have extra help to prevent me from having to close for many activities. So the things I want to focus on are ones that create an inviting space that encourages reading and participation and exploring what we already have. Also, developing relationships with the teachers so that when I do have to close for special classes or activities, they are totally supportive and assist in whatever we're doing.
So how do I get that end part of the prayer "and wisdom to know the difference"? Some serious reflection is needed. Reevaluate my mission statement. Recall why I wanted to be a Media Specialist in the first place. I taught elementary and secondary ESE students for over 20 years and even became certified in Administration before switching horses and getting my Media Certification in 2000. I saw it as an avenue to really make a difference in students' lives, tap back into my fun/creative/silly side, and contribute to the overall climate of a school. Kind of like what I wanted to do in Administration, but more fun! And with books!
When I go back to school after this weekend, I'll start to look through my piles of "future ideas" and ruthlessly purge those that don't fit in the above criteria to "change what I can but accept what I can't". Even that process of clearing physical clutter will clear some of my mental clutter for some peace of mind. If it's not promoting reading and books and fun for the students, while moving them ahead in achievement, I don't have time for it. I need to look at what I am doing successfully and keep on doing it before starting the next great thing. Maybe I'll see that what I'm currently doing is perfectly fine...I just need to keep on doing it in the best way I can. As Dr. Bev Smallwood, a favorite blogger of mine said, when addressing the idea of finding success in your work, "It may not be that you're not doing the right things long enough and consistently enough. Don't try that new novel idea, just keep doing the right things."
Are you on that "next big thing" treadmill? Does the scenery never change because you're always thinking of what's next and how you're going to do it and end up running on empty? Are you comparing yourself and your program to your friends on Twitter who are posting daily wow's? Well, take a break, step off the machine and have some quiet reflection time. Sincerely consider what you should keep doing, what you don't need to do, what you could do new or differently and how it fits into your personal and professional mission statement. Discuss it with a close friend or mentor. Have some good conversations with those who can honestly advise you. Maybe even have a meeting with your Administration, to see if and how you're fitting into their agenda. I know your decisions will bring you a new peace and contentment and joy in your work.
I hope you are able to achieve that "Wisdom to know the difference" in your work this year and achieve a sense of stability in what you do. Make each moment count for your students and yourself. And as always, Stay Grounded, my friends!
