I'm a funny person. People think I'm funny and they laugh at things I say, so I can say that without being boastful. If I'm bragging, I'll return my "Humility Pin" to my Sunday School teacher. But I think I can use that description with confidence. The trouble is, I haven't been very funny lately. I haven't felt like being funny. Is it the condition of the world? Politics? Financial concerns? School Board histrionics? Family issues? Sore tooth? None of the above. It's just that things have gotten busier at work and I have more responsibilities that I can SAY take the joy from my job, but in truth, I've just let the joy slip away. And I don't feel like being funny!
However, a recent comment in a meeting I was involved in struck me to my, well, funny bone (humerus?). I honestly don't remember the gist of the discussion (bad mood) but then I heard the following about a fellow Media Specialist, "Oh, Ryan is hilarious! He sends me the funniest comments. His tweets are a riot. We've got to get him for...." (missed this next part, I was cringing in my lack of funny-ness.) (the name is obviously changed to protect the probably-funnier-than-me person). What about me, I wondered. Doesn't my name come to mind when funny is mentioned? Did I fall off the list of funny? From that point on until I left, I was consumed. Well, nibbled on might be a better word. Gnawing? I could get over them not mentioning my name with my funny friend, but realized that maybe I'm not funny anymore. Or more worrisome, I'm not exuding any joy, cheer, zest or joie de vivre in any situation, much less having a comical comment to add.
Now I'm not talking about having to be the center of attention, life of the party type. Well...not always, anyway! I don't mind it, in fact. My dad was a life of the party guy by playing the piano and entertaining anyone and everyone. I'd sit at the top of the stairs when my parents had a party and watch him with adoration...and hoped I could be like him. He was my role model and motivation as I took piano lessons. But I basically grew up an insecure, shy-yet-sarcastic, smart kid, who didn't say a whole lot. I don't think I came into a level of confidence until my 40's (quintessential late bloomer/ugly duckling) and when I became a Media Specialist I blossomed personally and professionally. Part of it was due to having a Supervisor who gave me a platform. "Present something about this professional book we're going to be studying" was her request for a Professional Study Day...and I've never been the same since! I got up nervously, notes prepared, but it didn't take me long to veer off the topic and spew one-liners and other comments related to our daily work life. Where was this coming from? What am I saying? And yet people laughed. I loved it! I wrote weekly columns and received compliments on how touching yet funny it was. I was in heaven! This was all pre-Social Media, or I might have been on the speaking circuit earlier or a TED sensation (LOL), but I enjoyed every opportunity to write, speak, interrupt, etc. I had fun being funny.
But somewhere along the line I pulled back. With all the misery around me, how could I be funny? Shouldn't I be serious and commiserate? Rant and rave? Join the complainers/protesters/haters? Or just mind my own business and try to keep up with my job. And I was miserable! I knew I wasn't really being me, (while Ryan moved up the Funny Meter!) but I was either too tired or focused on other things to do anything about it. Blog? Sure I blog...oh, I guess it's been several months since my last post. I missed writing like crazy, but not enough to do anything about it. Would anyone even notice my presence or lack thereof? Wait a minute...why am I doing any of this? Who is it for? Is it really life of the party stuff, or do I truly enjoy being able to encourage people through my humor? Is it for the recognition, or is it just because it also makes me feel good? I decided if this was a gift or talent that I have been blessed with (because it's sure not coding or most of the tech stuff I read on our conference!), I won't be happy and fulfilled unless I'm expressing it, no matter what the reaction or response.
And that's the way it is with any talent or gift you have. If you're waiting for the recognition or acknowledgement/appreciation from others, as most teachers are, you might have to wait a long time. But that shouldn't quench the gift or your desire to express it. I've been in Education or I should say an Educator for 40 years and I can maybe count on one hand, well maybe 2 and a couple toes, the praise/thanks/etc. I've gotten. The year I got Teacher of the Year at my school may have been a sympathy vote when I had breast cancer...but it was still an incredible experience (both the cancer and the TOY). Are you feeling tired/put-upon/over worked because of your job? Exasperated at the state of the State and education? Join the club...but fight to retain and maintain the joy that brought you here. And I mean fight! Don't let the zeal slip away. One of my favorite writers, Mike Mason, conducted a 90 day experiment in experiencing joy, the joy of the Lord, and wrote an incredible book in 2003, "Champagne for the Soul" that I still consult almost every day. One of my favorite chapters "Job Description: Joy" says this: "Wouldn't it be more fun just to show up at the Happy Factory (love that!) every morning and do the work, whether we want to or not? Isn't it worth some effort, knowing we'll be paid in the form of an increasingly rich and blissful life?"
So maybe I've digressed a bit, but I wanted to make the point that when you move away from your natural gifts and talents, which for most of us involve being Educators and Media Specialists, you're going to be miserable. It's time to get back to what brought you to the profession in the first place and exercise that gift and talent with all your heart. I'm getting my funny back. (sorry, JT). I'm writing again. I'm not coming down on kids in the Media Center for too much silliness (within reason!). I'm bringing all my characters back to the Morning Show (I have a lab coat that's carried me through many a situation!) I'm going to show up at the Happy Factory every day and put forth the effort to spread the joy, starting with myself. Because if I can be happy and fulfilled, those around me can hopefully experience some of the same. They might just have a better day, whether they're 10, 40 50 or 62. They might decide to come back next year with a hope that it just might be better. Or at least make it to the end of the year intact!
So how about you? What have you suppressed that you need to revive in your life? Joy in your job? Some form of creativity? A passion for sport? What is it about the real you that people miss? It could be anything from your smile to brownies...but you can change someone's life with it! They might not tell you, but just do it for yourself...and you'll be glad you did. You just might start to experience that increasingly rich and blissful life that Mike Mason referred to. What have you got to lose? Let's get back to "the Way We Were"!
Stay Grounded, friends. And by the way, did you hear the one about the.......
